Letter to Rachel

Dear Rachel, sorry for this belated letter. I should have written this weeks ago. Mammy has a good excuse though, my baby small is seriously injured that I couldn't really type. That's also why this blog hasn't been updated for so long. Today, daddy brought back your 1-yr old b'day party pictures and video. Of course, I have to post them on our blog immediately (but the pictures are still uploading on the other screen ... soooo slow)
You know, carrying you was not an easy pregnancy for me. Mammy couldn't sleep at all throughout the entire 9 months. There was a little accident that Mammy had a little bleeding when you were 6 wks inside me. Both daddy and mammy were scared to death and I felt terribly sorry for being so careless. Although it's a difficult one, I still miss the time you were inside me - your heartbeat with mine together, so close together. Since mammy could hardly sleep throughout the entire pregnancy, after you were born I was a little depressed that I was sent to hospital for few days. Then mammy was told that I was physically broken down that there's no way I could take care 3 kids - you, your sister Chloe and your daddy all perfectly fine and all by myself. Then I had no choice but to cut down some load. Finally mammy and daddy had made a decision together that we would let yaya to take care you, and mammy will take care your sister as she's going to school that she will need more attention. I still try my best to squeeze some time to play with you while Chloe's in school. Honestly mammy still always feel that I spend not enough time with you at all. Sometimes, I'm even jealous and wanna cry when seeing you so close to yaya but not me or daddy. Hope one day you will understand.
Now seeing you being much more independent and tougher than Chloe, daddy and mammy are so proud of you.
There's still long way to go for you, Chloe, mammy and daddy. Today, mammy hasn't yet got a pass to be a Good mom. I'm still learning and trying my best to get a better balance on the current situation. Hope one day we all get a PASS to be the BEST OF THE BEST!